Written by Luke Jermay

Effect:

The performer engages the audience by inquiring if anyone has experience in telemarketing. Spotting a participant, he invites them onstage. He then produces a script from his pocket and elaborates:

“Much like psychic readings, telephone sales rely on a carefully crafted script aimed at swaying the listener — whether it’s to suggest a glimpse into their future or to persuade them that a product is their best investment. I’ve created my own script with a specific outcome in mind.”

The performer hands the script to the spectator, who is instructed to take a seat and pull out their cell phone. He humorously suggests:

“I recommend calling your least interesting friend or perhaps a babysitter.”

As the spectator dials, the performer moves to the front of the stage, allowing the spectator to read the script to their chosen contact.

While this unfolds, the performer displays large boards to the audience, each featuring a different statement. The first board reads:

“Every word is crafted to influence.”

This board is set aside, revealing another that states:

“The words we choose often convey more than their literal meaning.”

As this board is dropped, the next one proclaims:

“My script is designed to guide a choice — a number, a shape, and a color.”

Once the spectator concludes their call, they hang up. During the conversation, they have prompted their contact to select a color, shape, and number.

The performer instructs the spectator to retrieve an envelope from beneath their chair. Inside, a prediction awaits, revealing the color, shape, and number that were chosen over the phone.

1st edition 2006. 26 pages. Word count: 5734, equivalent to 22 standard pages of text.